Forgive a father, but it’s time again to share the darndest things my daughters have been saying lately. Claire is six and Charlie is three. Cambry is one and talks a lot, but we don’t comprehend most of it. When they make off the wall remarks, I record them in a journal because they’re too precious to forget. These comments speak for themselves…


-(Claire 6) Daddy, you’ll always be in my heart.

-(Claire 6) Daddy, you married the right girl so I could be your daughter. I’m so glad you’re my daddy.

-(Claire 6) I see why mommy married you. Mommy picked the perfect person.

-(Claire 6) Daddy, you make me feel safe.

-(Charlie 3) Mommy, you’re the best cooker, and Daddy, you’re the best magic show boy.


-(Claire 6) It’s cool how men go pee-pee.

-(Claire 6) (My wife made some tan colored play-dough and some spilled on the driveway)…Dad, if you ask me if that’s bird diarrhea, it’s not.

-(Charlie 3) (Me) Charlie, what have you been doing? (Charlie) I was pooping.

-(Charlie 3) Ew! You got some on me! (Claire sneezed on her)

-(Charlie 3) Remember when I pooped in the bathtub? That was hilarious…I mean, disgusting.


-(Claire 6) Mommy, when you ask Jesus into your heart, do you have to cry?

-(Claire 6) Today I became a Christian, and I’m gonna be bath-tized.

-(Claire 6) One time I drew a picture for God and I think He took it because I don’t know where it is.

-(Charlie 3) Dad, I’m sorry I lied at you.

-(Charlie 3) Is Jesus the Lord?


-(Claire 6) I like when lifeguards wear sunglasses…it just makes them look more like lifeguards.

-(Claire 6) I’m gonna stay up all night, and if I get hungry, eat that leftover taco.

-(Claire 6) Any words for the last!? (Instead of “Any last words?”)

-(Claire 6) (Me) Claire, do you like playing soccer? (Claire) No, I like playing games and being lazy.

-(Charlie 3) I’m excited to dream again.

Cloud Shapes

-(Claire 6) That cloud looks like an elf shoe with a bunch of people in it, or it just looks like an elf shoe.

-(Claire 6) I see a duck…like a mean clown duck.

Deep Thinkers

-(Claire 6) I want to be a magician when I grow up.

-(Claire 6) Sticks are wonderful.

-(Claire 6) Daddy, if you could see through things, you wouldn’t see anything.

-(Charlie 3) What will I look like when I grow up?


-(Claire 6) Hey Charlie, let’s play pretend. Pretend like I’m your mom and your dad’s dead but I haven’t told you yet. But when I do tell you, you’re happy ‘cause you don’t like dads.

-(Charlie 3) Daddy, come here so I can read you this book before I hit you.