(Devin’s theory on how to find your loved ones in Heaven).

I was thinking…when we get to Heaven, there’s going to be a lot of people. How in the world…or, I guess…how in the Heaven will I ever locate my friends, loved ones and fellow Kansas City magicians? Then it donned on me – I bet in Heaven, instead of Facebook, there will be Faithbook.

We will stand in lines for computers – we won’t have our own personal laptops or tablets in Heaven – that’s too materialistic. And we will locate our friends and loved ones through Faithbook. It’s a good thing the world existed long enough to invent this technology, otherwise we’d all be lost in heaven! Imagine the irony; lost…in Heaven!

I’m sure there will be angels there helping us at the computers to speed things up, or, if one is lucky, maybe Moses or Noah. And I would hate to be the one looking for ‘John Smith.’ I can hear Noah now…(click-clickety-click)…
“There are 2 billion hits for John Smith. Looks like we’re getting flooded with hits for John Smith.” Flooded? Noah will have a sense of humor. He will have to after what he’s been through. Then he’ll say, “What’s John Smith’s middle name?”


“Patrick? Let’s try that…(click click clack)…still 20 million hits. Let’s try narrowing it down some more. What are his music interests?”

“He likes, or liked, or whatever, Metallica and God-Smack.”

“Really…and you do know where you are?”

“Yes, Heaven.”

“Okay, just checking…um…(click clicky clicker)…still too broad. I’m sorry, but you’ll have to go to the end of the line and we’ll try again later.”

People with uniquely awesome names, like my childhood friends Bjorn and Shashi, have it good. They’ll be easier to find. These guys will be the first ones partying it up with their loved ones in Heaven. But I have one thought for those of you who have friends with names that derive from common Biblical nouns, such as Joy, Hope, Faith, or Patience. If when you get to Heaven you ask for Grace, for example, this will only confuse the angels. In this instance, clarify that you are searching for a person.

I wonder how hard it will be for people to find me: Devin Henderson. I actually have come across a few other Devin Hendersons on the web. So I’ve been thinking about it, when you get to Heaven – and I hope you do – if you happen to want to find me, I will have created a Faithbook nickname…Jesus! I mean, that’s who everyone is really going to be looking for – and no one else is going to think of creating that nickname! The only other Jesus’ will be of Latino descent (pronounced “Hey-Zeus.”). That means I just might be the only white Jesus in Heaven (hopefully this won’t be considered blasphemy!). So please…don’t steal my idea. See you in Glory!