You know you’re a parent of 3 little girls when your bucket list looks something like this:
• Brush my freakin’ teeth.
• Go to the bathroom when I need to, and possibly get some reading in while I’m at it.
• Spend an evening in silence, doing absolutely nothing.
• Have an unstained carpet.
• Get at least a good 4 to 5 hours of sleep every night.
• Be myself, rather than always pretending like I’m someone else (a prince, the Big Bad Wolf, etc.)
• Make a pb & j sandwich and eat the whole thing all by myself.
• Watch a PG movie for once without having to constantly fast forward through parts with filthy language such as “dumbhead” and “stupid.”
• Run without having to push a double-jogger stroller.
• Buy all my groceries in just one visit to the grocery store.
• Stop being reminded every day how my teeth aren’t perfectly white, I have bad morning breath, my face isn’t perfectly smooth, and that I have lots of nose hairs.
• Walk through the house without 60 lbs weighing down one leg and 35 lbs weighing down the other (my girls think I’m an amusement park ride).
• Back out of my driveway without first having to play the Fisher-Price version of “52-pick-up.”
• Stay logged into my computer and leave the room without fearing that upon my return, every file will be forever lost thanks to some little, grubby, keyboard-happy fingers.
• Take a shower without someone turning the lights out.
• To not have to constantly explain and defend everything I am doing, such as dumping the trash, shaving and putting on deodorant.
• To not always be missing my car keys and one shoe.
• To see what a king-size Temper-Pedic feels like with only two people in it. Maybe the TV ads are right…maybe they ARE comfy! But how would I know?
• To stop treating rest stops along Kansas highways as main attractions.
• To get these theme songs forever out of my head: Elmo, Backyardigans, Wonder Pets, Max and Ruby, Phineas and Ferb, and Dora the Explorer.
If you think I’m complaining, I’m not. I love being a father, and I know one day I will miss all of these things like crazy and I am so thankful my life is the way it is.
And by the way, if you think my list is bad, you should see my wife’s!